I was reading through an old question on Stackoverflow about the best comments found in code, ironically, developers tend to submit the worst comments for these types of questions. I think we like the irony of the comments, or submit them on the basis of hard they make us laugh.

One particular submission had me in hysterics by the time i had finished it, it was submitted by someone who worked with the author, Dan, of the class below, they thoughtfully changed the name of the person who ticked Dan off to Richard. So I have included the class in it’s entirety and then I have a link to Dan’s blog post where he explains the code a bit and why he felt the need to use the wording that he did. Happy reading all.

//Code sanitized to protect the foolish.
using System;
using System.Collections.Generic;
using System.Text;
using System.Reflection;
using System.Web.UI;

namespace Mobile.Web.Control
{
    /// <summary>
    /// Class used to work around Richard being a fucking idiot
    /// </summary>
    /// <remarks>
    /// The point of this is to work around his poor design so that paging will
    /// work on a mobile control. The main problem is the BindCompany() method,
    /// which he hoped would be able to do everything. I hope he dies.
    /// </remarks>
    public abstract class RichardIsAFuckingIdiotControl : MobileBaseControl, ICompanyProfileControl
    {
        protected abstract Pager Pager { get; }

        public void BindCompany(int companyId) { }

        public RichardIsAFuckingIdiotControl()
        {
            MakeSureNobodyAccidentallyGetsBittenByRichardsStupidity();
        }

        private void MakeSureNobodyAccidentallyGetsBittenByRichardsStupidity()
        {
            // Make sure nobody is actually using that fucking bindcompany method
            MethodInfo m = this.GetType().GetMethod("BindCompany", BindingFlags.DeclaredOnly |
                BindingFlags.Instance | BindingFlags.Public | BindingFlags.NonPublic);
            if (m != null)
            {
                throw new RichardIsAFuckingIdiotException("No!! Don't use the fucking BindCompany method!!!");
            }
            // P.S. this method is a joke ... the rest of the class is fucking serious
        }

        /// <summary>
        /// This returns true if this control is supposed to be doing anything
        /// at all for this request. Richard thought it was a good idea to load
        /// the entire website during every request and have things turn themselves
        /// off. He also thought bandanas and aviator sunglasses were "fuckin'
        /// gnarly, dude."
        /// </summary>
        protected bool IsThisTheRightPageImNotSureBecauseRichardIsDumb()
        {
            return Request.QueryString["Section"] == this.MenuItemKey;
        }

        protected override void OnLoad(EventArgs e)
        {
            if (IsThisTheRightPageImNotSureBecauseRichardIsDumb())
            {
                Page.LoadComplete += new EventHandler(Page_LoadComplete);
                Pager.RowCount = GetRowCountBecauseRichardIsDumb();
            }
            base.OnLoad(e);
        }

        protected abstract int GetRowCountBecauseRichardIsDumb();
        protected abstract void BindDataBecauseRichardIsDumb();

        void Page_LoadComplete(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            BindDataBecauseRichardIsDumb();
        }

        // the rest of his reduh-ndant interface members
        public abstract string MenuItemName { get; set; }
        public abstract string MenuItemKey { get; set; }
        public abstract bool IsCapable(CapabilityCheck checker, int companyId);
        public abstract bool ShowInMenu { get; }
        public virtual Control CreateHeaderControl()
        {
            return null;
        }
    }
}

Here is Dan’s article, titled From the Annals of Dubious Achievement.