Musings by Generator

Since we will be having a whole lot of international tourists in Gauteng for the Soccer World Cup this year, here is some basic rules for driving on the roads in Gauteng:

1. Indicating will give away your next move. A real Gauteng driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled by at least 2 taxis, two Golfs, a BMW and an Uno, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It’s a good way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They are especially not applicable in Gauteng during rush hour. That’s why it’s called ‘rush hour….’
8. Just because you’re in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a Gauteng driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.
9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help – you will be mugged.
10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Gauteng is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Metro Police Department, which puts holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keeps them on their toes.
11. It is traditional in Gauteng to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks from building nests on top of the traffic light and birds from making deposits on your car.
12. Remember that the goal of every Gauteng driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after the light has turned red. It’s people not adhering to this basic principle that causes the big traffic jams during rush hour.
14. A solid white line is the same as a staggered line in Gauteng. The Metro Police Department just have to save paint to buy new cars for all the new directors. A solid white line next to a staggered line means they have sorted the directors out and the paint contract has been awarded to their wives.

Now go out there and make Gauteng proud!

My girlfriend and I are in desperate need of a romantic break or weekend away ! So I have been looking around trying to find somewhere for us to go, a close by place not further than 3 hours away. So I am restricted in as far as Dullstroom, Northern Drakensburg, The Waterberg. I have been looking at hotels, Bed & breakfasts etc.

I know that every accommodation provider will be putting up their prices for the World Cup in June & July but to be making it so expensive that South African’s, except for the wealthy, can’t go away, well…. I got quoted nothing less than 1500 rand per person per night, this was a 3 star hotel – nothing magical, which is just crazy. How do these places expect to survive after or even before the world cup with these prices that are going to kill an  average South African’s monthly budget?

families and couples are not going to be able to have a spontaneous holiday, instead, we are going to have to plan months in advance. How can you be really truly romantic and surprise your better half with a weekend away when you need to plan months in advance so you can budget it in, because you will be planning so far in advance, you have to consult your partner cause you have no idea what their schedule will look like then, and you don’t want your six thousand rand weekend to be wasted cause two weeks before, she has to go on a business trip, so no surprise.

I understand that they need to increase the fee’s because of Match’s draconian rules & regulations that are forced on providers, so fine, charge the football tourists more, but please try to stay accessible to us local Safa’s.

At this rate, it is cheaper for me to book flights, and take my lady to Namibia, or Victoria falls in Zimbabwe. At least they want my money.